"Half the Strength"

March 13, 2008 This story is not about me. It is about my parents, who have been married for 58 years. Fortunately, my father is the picture of health.  .At age 80, he works out at a fitness center and walks most days of the week. My mother, however, has had multiple sclerosis for the last 45 years. It has not been easy over the years. For many years, my father cared for my mother on his own, and then when it became necessary, he employed health aids to assist with my mother's care. About 7 years ago, my mother had to be admitted to a nursing home and has been there since. My father visits her every single day to feed my mother lunch and stays a few hours, walking her around in her wheelchair, going through pictures, mail, talking, etc. Then he goes on some errands, eats an early dinner at home, and then he returns to the nursing home at 6PM, where he feeds her dinner, watches t.v. with her, brushes her teeth, etc. My father makes sure her medications have been given, chats with the nursing staff to check on other minor problems, and keeps her mind active. My mother knows when to expect my father each day and looks forward to his visits. The doctors have often said, that without the strong support of my father and without the excellent nursing care she receives at her facility, she would not have lived as long as she has. My mother is 81, and although physically she cannot do anything, she still enjoys the visits of her children and grandchildren. Her mind is still sharp when it comes to family and a quick joke. The most touching thing, however, is the strong connection I see between my parents...holding hands, the eye contact, the kiss, and the patience my father has always had for my mother. He is her lifeline, and my mother has always appreciated it. My mother never complains...even when she has a high fever or needs surgery. When I see her, I say, "Hi Mom. How are you?" Her response is always the same, "...Happy to see you." Although illness invaded our lives and changed things in my parents' marriage...changed things about our family life when my brothers, sister, and I were growing up...my mother's illness helped to make each one of strong in our own ways. My mother's illness has also helped our children to understand illness and disabilities and accepting those helping our parents into our family, as if they are our true family members. My father will always be my hero. I can only hope to be part of the person he is. As for my mother, I know I will never have half of the strength she has.

Sue
New York

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